I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
