im drinking this country out of the recession.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
