so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
