Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
