i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
