someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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