The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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