Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
