i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
