His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
