You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife š¬
He was all āplease donāt bail because Iām missing work for thisā last night
Honey no, I need dick. Iām not going to bail
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