honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
