Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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