Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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