he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I need to calm my uterus...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
