Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
At least make sure they are 18
Why
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
