Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
