I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
