Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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