i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
