U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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