i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
