when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
