i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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