I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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