Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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