i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize