I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
