When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
