It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
