We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
