were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
