one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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