Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
