I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I smell like Dick and happiness
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
