I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Less talking, more tequila
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
