My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
