Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
