Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
