Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
