I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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