Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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