Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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