I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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