Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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