..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
