i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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