Why are handjobs necessary in class?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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