that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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