is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
