I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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