Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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